When I first became a widow I never imagined the bond I would form with a group of strangers. These strangers were widows just like me. Our husbands all died in different ways, our ages varied, we lived in different cities and states, we came from different walks of life, but we all had one thing in common – we were young widows. Young widows who needed each other’s support, understanding and strength to get through our grief. We formed a place to vent, to ask questions, provide insight and understanding. It was safe to speak our thoughts and not be pitied or fixed. It was a Godsend to have these women who understood the thoughts, feelings, emotions of a young widow. We advised each other on how to help our young children with their grief and to answer the questions our children would ask. We were all learning to raise our families as a single parent.
We would support each through our bad days and there were plenty of these in the beginning. As time went on we not only shared our down days but were able to share good days too. There have been many tears and many laughs as each of us has learnt to adapt to our new lives. After speaking to each other over the Ever After forum, through private messages and emails for months we decided to meet up in person. We arranged for everyone to fly into Sydney for a weekend. Finally I could put the faces to the names and voices of these widows who had become so important to me. The weekend together was great, plenty of champagne was consumed, plenty of tears were shed and plenty of laughs had too. The weekend brought us all closer together.
As I look back at the last 8 years I see how far we have all come. Now we can share in happy and special occasions with each other. The distance between us does not stop us attending special events. One memorable event I will never forget was when I attended the wedding of one these women. Most of us were able to share in this special day. It was an emotional day on so many levels, there was sadness of what was but happiness for the future. We shed tears and laughs and celebrated into the early hours. For my fortieth birthday I had a party and invited family and close friends, my widow friends were there too making my night even more special.
My advice to all our members on the Ever After Widowed forum is to reach out to each other. The members on this website are the ones who will truly understand the road you are travelling.
It has been a blessing to have these beautiful women in my life. Through tragedy we formed a friendship which will last for life